It was John's request that none of the Amerson's would be aloud to visit him, infact, he wanted no one to visit him but myself and his mother.Ê He didn't like nor trust the Amerson Family.Ê He never stold 200K from Penquin, Actually, Bill Amerson embezeled that money and while John being sick and defensless and dying, Bill Amerson never paid many of the creditors and blamed it on a dead man. FACT! I still have all the books, as I was the bookeeper for the company.

John did not enjoy having sex with men.Ê What John did enjoy was the money he thought he was going to receive, as he thought he was going to be paid 1 Êmillion dollars from it.Ê Unfortunately, John was ripped off by his two partners (Bill Amerson and Manny Gonzalez)Ê He had been promised a million dollars, he saw maybe 7 K.

The night before John and I went to Las Vegas to get married, we called Bill Amerson and told him what we were doing and where we were going.Ê Bill Amerson gave us his blessing.Ê I never gave John a wedding ring.Ê The only ring he had on his finger was the JH diamond stud ring that Bill had given him a year before.

Bill Amerson is still very upset, because John died and left nothing to him.Ê He is very mad because John left everything toÊme.Ê Because of this greed and hatred, Bill Amerson has had nothing nice to say about me for years.Ê Knowing the way he is, he probably believes the lies he tells.Ê One of John's dying wishes was that I get as far away from Bill Amerson as I could.

John was one of the greatest persons that ever was.Ê He taught me, he loved me and he knew me better then anyone could ever know, including myself. He made his mistakes as he lived his life,Êjust like anyone.ÊPlease know thatÊhis heart and his spirit were so much larger then his cock could ever be.Ê He was more then an icon in this business - He was the icon of my heart - he still is.

John only made one film after he found out he was HIV positive.Ê That was the film that was made in Italy.Ê John fought himself hard about doing this film.Ê He really didn't feel right about it.Ê But he made his decision bases on his belief that everyone in the business was going to dye anyway.Ê Most of the actresses were from the same circle from here in the San Fernando Valley, California.Ê The same circle from where at that time he had believed he contracted the disease.Ê John needed the money and was paid handsomely.Ê That was the only film John ever did after he found out he was positive. Thank God, no one contracted the disease from John.

John had been an avid member of the California Cremation Society for many years.  John wanted to be cremated, and I carried out those wishes for him.  I did everything that he wanted to the letter.  He also did not want to have any kind of a funeral or gathering.  The memorial for John was done behind my back, I was not invited.  It was more a show for Bill Amerson to put on then anything else. John didn't want that. Bill Amerson knew this and did it anyway.

John did not lose his health insurance, Bill Amerson canceled John's insurance knowing that John was dying. FACT! He canceled John's insurance in the summer of 1987.

John never shot up drugs-he hated the site of a needle.

John didn't beat me constsntly. While John was poor health, and on medications that Bill Amerson's doctor had put him on abusing those medications as well, John did have violent mood swings. I stayed clear of him as it wasn't John, it was the medication he was on for pain (Halcion, by the hand full) John was very good to me for 5 years!